In the event that you are a socially adjusted member of the general population that has never had the privilege of becoming a Level 42 Warlock leading a guild on a vision quest to the Shlomi Caves in order to attain the Elixir of Suffering while simultaneously attacking left over General Tso’s at 11 PM on a Saturday in your parents’ basement on your 34th birthday, let us clarify that MMORPG stands for Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game. The most popular of the genre,
MMORPGs provide an escape from reality. People who have trouble holding a steady job can climb the ranks from troll to guild master in the online fantasy world with a little dedication. Repulsive, socially awkward 40 year old virgins can consummate cyber-weddings with some creative double-clicking of the mouse. The MMORPG system rewards dedication to a virtual environment while promoting decay of a person’s life in the real world.
After a few years as intense gamer junkies, participants discover deteriorated health, decreased confidence in regular social settings, and dimmer career prospects. This does not bode well for their reproductive chances. In the event that MMORPG Addicts retrain their atrophied muscles, succeed in seeking out a mate, figure out how to procreate, and possess a high-enough sperm count to fertilize an egg, the descendants of these misfits have the odds stacked against them. They will be practically born into a virtua-land themselves; finding that the best way to connect with their parents is to get attached to the machine as well, feeding the addictive personalities they inherited.
MMORPG Addicts consume energy, food, and space while offering minimal returns to the society that supports them, but damn… they can really lead a guild and slay a one-eyed monster. Until these transfixed drones unplug, it’s best for the real world that they keep their own one-eyed monsters in their pants.
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10 comments:
B. Wayland,
I am appalled by your lack of research into the topic at hand and your generalizations about MMORPG players.
First, the ages you use to describe these noble cyber warriors do not accurately display the general WOW population. According to the Daedalus Project, a census taken of Wow players, the average age of a Wow player is 28.3... significantly less than your two examples.
Second, you claim that climbing from troll to guild master requires little dedication. Obvi, you haven't ever been a Guild Master for a successful guild. These stoic leaders put in hours of dedication recruiting new members, managing conflicts, and organizing players to complete difficult tasks. These skills they are learning help prepare them for future leadership positions in the real world. If I see a prospective employee with guild master on his or her (16% females ftw) resume, that just screams potential. How's that for dimmer career prospects?
Third, the amount of time that an average Wow player logs a week is 21 hours and watching TV is 7. The average amount of hours a non elite American spends watching TV is 28. So, your implications that playing Wow and other RPGs decrease a person's interaction with rl are completely unfounded. They are just replacing time currently wasted with something more challenging, entertaining, and social.
Yes, social. Raids and questing with people from around the world build lasting friendships that carry over from guild to guild, realm to realm, and game to game. And some of those in game marriages you mentioned blossom into real life marriages as well.
Finally, and most importantly, there is no such thing as vision quests, Shlomi Caves, and Elixirs of Suffering. And it is spelled Orc. Please, if you are going to write a post on something, do your homework, or risk sounding like the noob you are.
- a proud WOW Level 80 Warlock
*** numbers taken from the Daedalus project
shut yer mouth turbo nerd, and go back to your cave.
pwned
Just like every other retard who thinks he's clever to slag off millions of people who do something he obviously knows nothing about.
This made me laugh hard, still i do believe is totaly biased and shouldnt be taken seriously. :P
HAHAHA... He sounds knowledgeable to me. Sounds like you're just bitter about being called out as a...
NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!!
no one else noticed the flaw in this arguement??? if they are being so antisocial and nerdy they arent having sex anyways...
i used to share a flat with a guy like this
30 year old virgin almost identical to the guy pictured
"These skills they are learning help prepare them for future leadership positions in the real world. If I see a prospective employee with guild master on his or her (16% females ftw) resume, that just screams potential. How's that for dimmer career prospects?"
1) who in the world puts "guild master" on his/her resume.
2) it doesn't so much scream "potential" as it screams "this guy will probably slack off and plan his 'raids' from work".
3) where do you work Anon that you actually look at resumes? assistant shift manager at mcdonald's? I guess I can see where that might indicate someone is capable of learning how to operate the cash register (yay for listening and pushing buttons at the same time).
i think the real question is, dear poster of this retarded hateful article , do you have any sex? cause the next step from this article is creating a virtual or real version of Ku Klux Klan directed against Wow players. Or any other MMORPG.(There are lots of them out there.Brrr!). Which makes one wonder if this enourmous disdain and frustration does not simply come from lack of...you know :)
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