#3 Senior Weekers

It is that time of year again, when teenagers across this great land celebrate their entrance into young adulthood by making mistakes that could potentially haunt them for the rest of their lives. The rite of passage known as “senior week” is fraught with danger as far as stopreproducing is concerned. Crossing raging repressed hormones with unscrupulous amounts of alcohol means that many youngsters across the county will leave their beach house, cabin, etc. with a lot more than a new facebook photo album.

Ladies we are appealing to you on this one. Mainly because we know that every high school guy you know has probably been trying to have sex with you for the past several years and this week will be no different. Granted, you have done a good job keeping them at bay for four years, but now they are even more desperate to lose their virginity before college. And you might not realize it, but female IQ’s seem to drop by about fifty points during senior week. So in your alcohol-induced fog you decide that maybe you should make out with that guy from your biology class you have never actually spoken to… I mean I guess he is kinda cute and Jenna said he is nice so why not? right? WRONG Jaime Spears wanna-be – kissing leads to heavy petting leads to you having to ask your college to move you to a freshman dorm with a nursery cause you thought doggystyle was an effective birth control after bonging 5 beers.

So ladies, be smart. Travel in packs, leave no (wo)man behind, Semper Fi, all that. A cry-box not only ruins your college experience, it ruins our planet. We cannot even deal with all the planned pregnancies in the world, don’t add your very unplanned one.