Eco-yuppies generally have one common denominator: they have all seen “An Inconvenient Truth”. Upon finding themselves cathartically inspired by Al’s revelations, the preachy ones who happenchance upon you doing yard work on a hot summer day will not hesitate to tell you about the environmental impact of tossing your paper cup in the regular trash bin and the increase in your carbon footprint caused by using a gasoline powered lawnmower instead of a Great Depression Era push mower. And they will lecture you while rolling by with their custom grip BOB Revolution Duallie AW 12' Stroller - 2008 from REI and their silicon-free saline implants.
Like moths spiraling toward a flame, eco-yuppies pour through the latest gossip rags (i.e. People, Us, Star, OK!) to become one with Hollywood. Your neighbor with the baby carriage may volunteer, “Paris Hilton just pledged to donate 5000 compact fluorescent light bulbs to AIDS victims in Africa, so I’m going to outfit Johnny and Susie’s stroller with CFLs too!” After all, green is as trendy right now as wearing scarves in the summertime!
BraveNewLeaf.com observes: “They are eager to go green when it’s most convenient for them. You’ll often find them toting around their ‘I am not a plastic bag’ while barreling down on you in a Cadillac Escalade. They would never understand the irony of entering an environmental contest with a grand prize featuring an eight-hour flight to Hawaii.”
Preachy eco-yuppies embrace the latest trends to combat global warming and environmental decay, but they fail to realize that the environmental impact of an extra child far surpasses the offset created by eating local produce, biking to work once a week and installing solar panels. They are likely to instill the same superficial, “what’s hot” values on their children, promulgating the Hollywood copycat culture that produces one dimensional lemmings.
Until they have their tubes tied (or a vasectomy), preachy eco-yuppies should stop the lectures and accept that they are doing more damage to the environment by rearing children than we could do with a lifetime’s worth of tossing our bottles in the trash.*
*Stopreproducing.com does not endorse disregarding efforts to mitigate the environmental impact of humans. There’s only one planet; you shouldn’t shit where you eat.
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2 comments:
True, survival depends upon population reduction, but the masses have the proportions right. It is those who use most of the planet's resources who should stop reproducing. Our chance to reproduce should be inversely proportionate to the amount of resources we use, and that is sort of what is happening. People in "third world" places use fewer resources, and I believe they reproduce more. Each of Warren Buffet's children will probably use 10 times the resources I use, and I probably use 10 times the resources of someone outside of the U.S. or Europe. People searching for meaning in their lives want to be told what to do. People seeking purpose want to be tools. That explains their desire for ownership of other human beings through parenthood.
so those who do not care about the environment should reproduce?
I strike this one out , unless you are a VHEM drone
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