#12 People Who Overreact to Swine Flu


As it is flu season, we here at stopreproducing.com thought we would take the time to discuss a trend that we find somewhat disturbing, people absolutely flipping shit about swine flu. Granted, you might be wondering isn’t the instinct for self-preservation a positive genetic trait? one that should be passed on to future generations? The short answer is yes, but only up to a point. The problem comes when people are no longer able to differentiate real threats to survival from fake threats to survival.

Once the line between real and un-real threats to survival gets blurred for people, they tend to get in a tizzy every time they are in a crowd and start feeling the need to wear a surgical mask to work every time their cubicle neighbor gets a case of the sniffles. As a species, we were only allowed to survive due to our strong group instincts. The natural inclination to come together into communities saved us from being individual animal snacks, like pudding cups for saber-tooth tigers. So this sort of anti-communal, anti-social is not beneficial for the race and should be snuffed out.

The other issue for us here at stopreproducing.com is that if you freaked out about swine flu, then you clearly have no capacity to think for yourself. The dangers of swine flu were completely blown out of proportion by the media. If you had actually looked at the facts and made an independent decision, you would have noticed that the only people in real danger were people in rural areas with no hospital access, infants and the elderly. In other words, THE SAME EXACT PEOPLE SUSCEPTIBLE TO THE REGULAR FLU. We would not blame you for worrying about your infants or elderly in this situation, but the majority of people avoiding human contact and treating Purell like liquid gold were healthy people in their 30’s and 40’s. We agree, getting the swine flu would be pretty miserable, but the media had all of you thinking that it was an automatic death sentence.

Also, people should have recognized that this “global pandemic that was going to kill us all” thing was familiar. Has everyone forgotten avian flu already? Remember how that was going to wipe us all out? And before that it was SARS, and MRSA, and Ebola, and flesh eating bacteria. Since the inception of 24 hour news networks we have be barraged with everything that is going to kill us and/or end society as we know it. We managed to get through Y2K just fine, and we will get through swine flu just the same.

There is also some altruism in stopreproducing.com’s advice in this matter. Think about it, if you get this worked up just worried about yourself and any of your brood that have already emerged from the birth canal, imagine how much more stressed you would be if you added any more to your litter. Honestly, just save yourself that trouble. For your sanity and those who have to be around you…please, stop reproducing.

This should not be happening.