#16 People Who Say “Drill Baby Drill”

We here at stopreproducing have said from the outset that our main goal is to make life on Earth more livable.  Well, idiots who want to drill for oil everywhere and anywhere seem to be working towards the antithesis of that idea, and for that, they have made our list. So “Drill Baby Drill”-ers (DBDs), when it comes to making babies we must urge you “Don’t, Baby, Don’t.”

The DBD mentality is one that is diametrically opposed to ours here at stopreproducing.  We want to lower the population to lessen the strain on our natural resources and ensure that a high quality of life will be attainable for all societies across the globe now, and in the future.  DBDs on the other hand want to exploit our natural resources now to satiate the ever growing demands of society.  DBDs feel it would be downright “un’merican” to change our lifestyles even slightly to alleviate our dependence on oil.  Instead DBDs say let’s just rape that bitch Mother Earth till she screams bloody murder.

This approach is unsustainable.  The Earth has limited natural resources and they will run out.  We need to change our ways now, or we are screwed*.  The idea that more drilling will somehow help us to rid our dependence on oil is so mind-boggling stupid I gave myself a headache just writing that sentence.

This approach is unfair.  The United States consumes more oil than the entire European Union, we consume more oil than China, we consume more oil than anyone.  DBDs seem to think that we somehow have the God given right to all of the oil the Earth has to offer.  Whether we have to drill for it, buy it, or pretend there are WMD’s in a country that has it so we can invade it and generally fuck up an entire region, we are gonna get that oil.  After we get that oil, we are going to put it in our giant, gas guzzling cars, and enjoy the high quality of life that an affluent nation has while we ignore the rest of the world’s poverty.  We not only are screwing over the rest of the world now, we are screwing over future generations all over the globe, as they will be the ones who have to fix this mess we are putting ourselves into.

This approach is unsafe.  If anyone had any remaining doubts that offshore drilling was dangerous to the Earth, the recent oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico should remind us just what can happen.  Ecosystems are being destroyed and the whole Louisiana fishing industry is in danger of going under**.  Oil consumption also leads to pollution.  So oil drilling is an environmental double whammy: we cause mass damage in the short term while drilling, and manage to perpetuate a system that is slowly poisoning our planet and potentially could have catastrophic consequences down the line.  Awesome.

Guess what? We can see how stupid this is from space.

So, DBDs, when we add together your selfish/egotistical/ethnocentric behavior with the inability to see how absurd/illogical/dangerous your position is, we come to a simple conclusion: stop reproducing (and maybe go down to Louisiana to volunteer with that whole oil cleanup thing).

*Actually we should have changed our ways about 30 years ago.  This is probably not a sentence that gets typed very often but: We should have listened to Jimmy Carter.

**I was listening to a right wing talk radio host who claimed that the oil spill was all the “environmental extremists” fault, that if they had let companies drill on land, this would not have happened.  I’m sorry, what?  I am pretty sure that an oil rig blowing up on land is going to be as dangerous to the surrounding ecosystem as an oil rig blowing up offshore.  It just highlights the complete lack of logic on the part of some of these people.